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An Esoteric Kind of Chaos

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Pads in the Bookbag [23 Mar 2009|12:09pm]

This Monday morning, first period, a trustworthy male student asked me for a stapler to put together a packet of papers in SAT Prep. My bookbag was in plain sight near him and on the opposite side of the classroom from me, so I asked him to please reach into the big pocket and get it himself.

...Screaming ensued.

Unbeknownst to me, the night before, Patty and I had been invited to our friend Ben's place for dinner and grading of papers. Patty, not wanting to bring a purse, stashed a couple of pads in that pocket of my bookbag in case she needed them while at Ben's. Said Patty, "I put those in yesterday when we were going to Ben's incase I needed them! I didn't want to take a purse."

They were unopened and resting on the stapler in the pocket.
5 Phat Beats| Drop a Beat

Thrown Condom [12 Mar 2009|10:34am]
Towards the end of Spring 2008 teaching (my second semester ever):

The students are arranged in their standard gridwork of desks, all facing fowards. For the most part, the chalking and talking is going well: "blahblahblah and, finally, <i>this</i> is a reduced fraction."

Suddenly, the door swings open and an unwrapped condom comes flying in to my classroom, flapping its way through the atmosphere like a flag on a windy day. At least two students are heard running down the hallway away from my room.

It lands with a squish sound.

[Pause for a beat]


Fortunately, I had my Leatherman on me. The pliers, among all the other things they've ever done, have now been used as a condom disposal devise. Do they pay teachers enough, really?
Drop a Beat

Shot of Listerine [28 Feb 2009|09:40am]
I just crashed on Dori's couch after a fun night of story-telling and milk-and-cookies. I didn't really intend to crash here and I brought no supplies. Needless to say, my breath is... unattractive. Why doesn't Listerine sell single-use shots of their product at the local bodega?!
Drop a Beat

[26 Feb 2009|09:41pm]
I wonder how much belly button lint ends up in our landfills, either measured by volume or mass. I just contributed a little...
1 Phat Beat| Drop a Beat

NJ [04 Jan 2009|07:58pm]
As part of her Solar Curves project:

"For example Florida gets less sunlight during the summer because the sun is more likely around N.Y.C giving us more sunlight during the summer. But it changes once it hits winter because the sun is always rotating."

She <i>almost</i> gets it...
Drop a Beat

The New Dress Code [23 Oct 2007|12:48pm]
 Students definitely notice a teacher's dress habits.

Our school has no dress code, which is fine with me. I'm a T-shirt and jeans kind of guy, and I wear all my mathie T-shirts and my wallet chain and Airwalks. Patty usually gives me grief for looking too much like one of my students, but I didn't really think it mattered.

Today is definitely laundry day and I've run out of pants. Well, since I'm wearing a very nice pair of khakis, I couldn't wear a T-shirt, right? So, I wore nice button down shirt, my good khakis, and a beautifully large pair of leather shoes. 

Every class today I've been asked, "Why you dressed up today, Mista?"

"Honestly? Because it's laundry day."

"You mad corny. Ain't you supposed to dress down on laundry day?" "Maybe it should be laundry day more often for you." "You look so much better dressed like that."

But... what about my mathie shirts?
1 Phat Beat| Drop a Beat

The Field Trip-- Rockefeller Center [17 Oct 2007|09:24am]

17 October 2007:

As an advisor for 12th graders, I was given a great opportunity by the principal to take my gaggle of 10 advisees anywhere we wanted on a fieldtrip for a few hours while the sophomores and juniors took the PSATs at school. Unfortunately, my gaggle of seniors is just too cool for school. After talking about it for four weeks and on the last possible day, they decided (with much effort on my part) to go ice skating at Chelsea Piers. I wrote and distributed all the fieldtrip forms and went on about my day.

This morning, the day of the fieldtrip, the only three that show up are Beavis, Butthead, and Ren, the three I had picked to be the least likely to show. None of them had their fieldtrip forms. You know, I was really disappointed by this, honestly? Part of me so hoped that this would be an opportunity to connect with these boys outside of school and formality. But, they couldn't be mature enough to take a piece of paper home with them and bring it back. Honestly?! No, that's ridiculous on their behalf. 

So, absolutely no one from my advisory was ready to go on a fieldtrip. I had the option to either use the day to catch up on work, orrrrrr...

I hooked up with another advisory and another teacher and offered myself to being the "other chaperone." Besides, her nine were all freshmen and it was as good a time as ever to get to know a few that will have me as their math teacher as early as next year. I latched on and away we went to go ice skating outside in Rockefeller Center on an awesome, 70° day! The rink was just about empty as we walked past the filming of The Today Show and descended to the ice. We spent a great 1½ hours skating before getting back on the trains and having lunch. Photos have been posted to my facebook account.

My job has its perks!

2 Phat Beats| Drop a Beat

The Old Man Named Mr Hook [16 Oct 2007|09:40pm]
16 October 2007

While teaching my last class of the day, I notice that my students begin focusing more on the door than on me. I stop my riveting lecture on exponents to see an old man staring intently into the classroom. I go to the door and ask if I can help him with anything. He asks if he can come in to observe the lesson. I notice the Visitors Sticker from the security checkpoint at the school and, having never been confronted with a situation like this, I can't see the harm. What if this is some pop inspection by the Board of Ed and grandpa here-- more accurately, Mr Hook (I'm not kidding about the last name and wish I had remembered his first name)-- may be some sort of "new teacher inspector." Besides, if anything happened, I could take him on. Hell, even the cliché straight-A small Asian girl in the front row could take him on.

So, I let him in. He sits back row center. I mention to the class that we're now going to be observed by Mr Hook and I'm going to move on with the lesson. For the most part, the students have become numb to observers in the classroom, especially since I'm averaging one observation per week from either school staff or my scholarship staff. The chatty girl asks if Mr Hook is my father. Laughter ensues. Moving on.

"Exponents, exponents, blahblahblah. Anita, stop talking! Adrian, stop talking! So now, what do we do if the exponent is negative? Anita, go take a walk and come back when you're ready to be a part of the class!" I point to the door. Anita leaves. Adrian hollers about her removal, so I send him out with her. "Anyway, so this negative exponent..."

They both come back a couple minutes later and continue being loud and boisterous. I'm about to remove the two of them from the class for the remainder of the period when Anita notices that Mr Hook's face is turning red. She tells the class that she thinks Mr Hook has something to say. Suddenly, all heads turn to face him. I stop lecturing to see what this guy is really all about. 

He begins in his feeble voice: "Listen up, all of you. I graduated from this school in 1941 and I'm proud to be back here. That man in the front of the classroom? He is a brilliant man. He went to college, he studied hard, and now he's doing you and the whole community a service by trying to offer you the same excellent opportunities he has no doubt taken advantage of. I've lived in Colorado for the last 60 years. We've had a black mayor, we've had a Mexican mayor for the last 12 years, and they were as successful as they were because they realized when they were being offered an opportunity and they took advantage of it."

He continues and cresendos: "You all should be ashamed of yourselves, squandering away the opportunities you are being given. There is more to life than your neighborhood-- than your borough! Stop working hard now to earn a good life instead of treating all these opportunities like shit!"

And with that sticcato last note, he huffed out of the room as sternly as an old man can huff.

Stunned, I look at the kids. The kids look back at me. Beat. Beat. They erupt in applause. These fools erupt into applause for a speech which totally lampooned them. Anita was the ringleader of the applause. I waiting a few more beats and then settled them down.

"Anyway, this exponent over here is negative three, which means..."
Drop a Beat

The Condom [11 Oct 2007|09:17pm]
October 11, 2007

A student ran in from the halls, threw an unwrapped condom into the middle of the classroom, and dashed away before being caught or identified. The class erupted into chaos-- there was shreiking and the retreat of desks in every direction. Fortunately, I had a leatherman holstered to my hip. I knew those pliers would come in handy one day. 

Fortunately, the condom appeared unused. Still, I ran my leatherman under boiling hot water...
Drop a Beat

The Fist Through The Window [28 Sep 2007|09:16am]
28 September 2007

This is an email I sent to my principal:

     In the middle of my 7th Period, Odalis (who had missed my 4th period) came to my classroom's open door and signalled for Luis to come to the door. I walked to the door and told Odalis that he needs to do three things: take off his hat, stop encouraging students to walk out of class, and go back to his 7th period. I had just finished talking with Odalis when I shut the door to find Luis having had left his seat in the back of the class and came up anyway with Odalis' sunglasses. Not wanting to seem like I condone this sort of interruption, I refused to open the door and continued to signal to Odalis to go to class and Luis to either give me the glasses or go to his seat. Luis kept the glasses and walked back to his seat, telling me that I'm a child and that I need to grow up.
    Odalis seems not to have left the window, because the moment I left the door and resumed the class, Luis passed the glasses to Chris to hand to Odalis. Chris handed me the glasses and I told Odalis to go to class and that he could get them from you later. I left the doorway and continued on with the class. About 30 seconds later, as if a bomb had gone off, it seems that Odalis had punched through the window, showering Sonia and Chris (the two closest students to the door) with a window's worth of sharded glass, though they went without injury. Chris got so worked up that he soon had to leave the classroom. Luis continued on about how this was my fault. The class didn't resume normal function for another 15 minutes, even Robert's class had to be strongly encouraged to stay indoors.
    There was a significant amount of Odalis' blood spread out on the floor outside the door, clearly indicative of a punch so violent that the glass didn't just cut his hand, it <i>opened</i> his hand. I took photographic evidence of the blood before Adam, Ian, Kevin C, Erika, and Drew came to help clean up as I continued to calm the class down. I gave the sunglasses to Kevin C. A lot of tension built up between Luis and the rest of the class; Shatavia had such a fit that she had to leave the room for the rest of the period.
   Odalis has repeatedly skipped my class and, after this incident and the previous incident involving his hat, I can't imagine he'll change for the better unless some sort of intervention occurs. I don't know how to approach such a violent person after this display. If there is anything else I can say or do pertaining to this situation, please let me know. I also have free periods on Monday during 2nd, 5th, 6th, and 9th if a counseling is in order.
Drop a Beat

10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong [23 Feb 2006|10:14pm]
[ mood | okay ]

01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

13 Phat Beats| Drop a Beat

[21 Feb 2006|09:53pm]
[ mood | enthralled ]

Pi 2 Infinity: You wouldn't happen to be in Lehman, would you?
RWaller5: hahaha! freakin' nope! you?
Pi 2 Infinity: Yeah, and I've now borne witness to something I never thought I'd see.
RWaller5: ?!?!?! do tell!
Pi 2 Infinity: So, this EP student purchased a computer from the school's material management excess stash for dirt cheap (which I didn't know we were allowed to do). He disassembled it from its casing but left everything connected, so imagine a computer running on a desk, still connected to a monitor and speakers, but everything just laying out on a disk. Wires everywhere, right?
RWaller52: okay
Pi 2 Infinity: Now imagine taking all the parts not monitor and speaker and putting them in a tupperware container without a lid. So, all the "central" parts are in a small tupperware container laid out with a fan and wires and everything just laying around. They are connected to a monitor and speakers, and this guy is playing pinball in Windows... Cool? His buddy comes along with six liters of vegetable oil and pours it into the tupperware while the first guy is still playing pinball... and it fucking works!
RWaller52: okay, that's awesome!
Pi 2 Infinity: The entire computer is under oil and running perfectly.
RWaller52: dude...that's cool...I'll give you that!
Pi 2 Infinity: Dude. The computer is completely submerged in a liquid. Speakers are plugged into this pool of oil, and Green Day is filling the lab. It is fuckin' weird looking...
RWaller52: okay...I would definately like to see that
Pi 2 Infinity: I took pictures. They're going to freeze it like this and try to funnel liquid nitrogen to the CPU...
RWaller52: what!?!?!
Pi 2 Infinity: To overclock it or something. Swing by the design lab tomorrow. It should be working by then... EP students have access to liquid nitrogen, by the way.
Pi 2 Infinity: Yeah... but still... this is movie-magnitude geek type shit right here. This is blowing my mind.
RWaller52: hahaha! I could definately agree with that statement!

Drop a Beat

The pen is mightier than the sword [08 Feb 2006|12:13pm]
04 Feb: A crowd of thousands of demonstrators who were calling for executions, set fire to the Danish Embassy in Damascus; the building is believed to have been empty. The structure was badly damaged. Danish officials had asked for police protection which didn't arrive. The embassy of Norway was also burned. The editor of the Jordanian newspaper who was fired on Friday for reprinting the cartoons was arrested today. Jordan's King Abdullah II is quoted saying: "insulting the prophet Mohammed is a crime that cannot be justified under the pretext of freedom of expression and must be punished." Tens of thousands of demonstrators marched in Gaza today. The governments of Indonesia, Tajikistan and the Russian state of Chechnia condemned the cartoons. Two newspapers in New Zealand reprinted the cartoons. Editor & Publisher notes that editors of American newspapers have almost all decided not to reprint the cartoons.

05 Feb: Thousands of Muslims rampaged Sunday in Beirut, setting fire to the Danish Embassy, burning Danish flags and lobbing stones at a Maronite Catholic church as violent protests spread over caricatures of the Prophet Muhammad." The Danes had evacuated the embassy earlier. Protesters in Lebanon torched firetrucks and stoned a Catholic church. Muslims also protested the cartoons in the streets of Afghanistan, the West Bank, Iraq and New Zealand, where two newspapers reprinted the cartoons yesterday. Palestinian gunmen were searching hotels in Gaza for Europeans to kidnap, in response to the cartoons. Most European journalists and aid workers have left Gaza for their safety. A German teacher was kidnapped briefly before being freed by Palestinian police. Militant Palestinian groups issued more threats.

06 Feb: Four died in Afghanistan as security forces opened fire on demonstrators. At violent protests in Iran the Austrian embassy was pelted with Molotov cocktails and stones. Iran withdrew it's ambassador from Denmark and blocked the import of Danish goods. A 14 year-old-boy was shot and killed in a cartoon protest in Somalia as demonstrators hurled stones at international aid groups. The biggest city in Indian Kashmir shut down all shops for a day of protest as crowds filled the streets, burned Danish flags and hurled rocks at cars. Street protestors in Indonesia threw rocks at a Danish consulate. Muslim leaders in Australia demanded that the News Corporation apologize for printing the cartoons. Note to be outdone, a Belgian-Dutch Islamic political organization, the Arab European League, has started posting cartoons that they think will be as offensive as possible to the Danish.

07 Feb: Crowds of demonstrators clashed with police near Bagram, Afghanistan as cartoon protestors tried to break into a US base. Some of the protestors shot at the base, and police shot back. Four people were killed and 19 injured. There were more protests at embassies in Iran, Indonesia and Afghanistan with rock throwing and burning Danish flags. A Danish lawyer was shot and killed in in Moscow by a man from the Muslim Caucasus region of Russia, and the killing was attributed to the cartoons. The Prime Minister of the Russian state of Chechnia announced that Danish humanitarian organizations would be expelled from the state. There was a peaceful demonstration at the Philadelphia Inquirer in response to their printing the turban bomb cartoon. The government of Iran has decided to hold an international cartoon contest on cartoons about the Holocaust that would, presumably, cause the most offense to the West, in retaliation for the offense Iranians felt from the Muhammad cartoons.

That's just the last four days. Wake up!

People need to chill out; this is barbaric!
1 Phat Beat| Drop a Beat

Dusting off the soap-box [05 Feb 2006|12:59am]
From a liberal blog online:

[...]And as for this global warming issue. Where are the environmental groups? How hard is it to mount a campaign on global warming when the glaciers in Alaska are melting so badly they've had to move the visitors center closer to the glacier because the glacier is disappearing?

Deborah Williams, the executive director of the Alaska Conservation Foundation, used to take visitors from the Lower 48 to the famous Portage Glacier just outside Anchorage, where the $8 million Begich-Boggs visitor center opened in 1986. By 1993, the Portage glacier had receded so much that it no longer could be seen from the visitors' center.

And by the way, read that entire article, it's horrifying.

Things are getting so bad that polar bears are, for the first time, literally drowning because there's no ice for them to take a break on while swimming.

Scientists have for the first time found evidence that polar bears are drowning because climate change is melting the Arctic ice shelf.

The researchers were startled to find bears having to swim up to 60 miles across open sea to find food. They are being forced into the long voyages because the ice floes from which they feed are melting, becoming smaller and drifting farther apart....

Polar bears live on ice all year round and use it as a platform from which to hunt food and rear their young. They hunt near the edge, where the ice is thinnest, catching seals when they make holes in the ice to breath. They typically eat one seal every four or five days and a single bear can consume 100lb of blubber at one sitting.

And now, things have gotten so bad, that scientists are debating whether in the next few decades we're approaching a "tipping point" beyond which there will be nothing we can do to fix the problem. That's when all hell breaks loose.

Now that most scientists agree human activity is causing Earth to warm, the central debate has shifted to whether climate change is progressing so rapidly that, within decades, humans may be helpless to slow or reverse the trend....

There are three specific events that these scientists describe as especially worrisome and potentially imminent, although the time frames are a matter of dispute: widespread coral bleaching that could damage the world's fisheries within three decades; dramatic sea level rise by the end of the century that would take tens of thousands of years to reverse; and, within 200 years, a shutdown of the ocean current that moderates temperatures in northern Europe.

[...]one of the greatest dangers lies in the disintegration of the Greenland or West Antarctic ice sheets, which together hold about 20 percent of the fresh water on the planet. If either of the two sheets disintegrates, sea level could rise nearly 20 feet in the course of a couple of centuries, swamping the southern third of Florida and Manhattan up to the middle of Greenwich Village.

[...]Many scientists are also worried about a possible collapse of the Atlantic thermohaline circulation, a current that brings warm surface water to northern Europe and returns cold, deep-ocean water south. Hans Joachim Schellnhuber, who directs Germany's Potsdam Institute for Climate Impact Research, has run multiple computer models to determine when climate change could disrupt this "conveyor belt," which, according to one study, is already slower than it was 30 years ago. According to these simulations, there is a 50 percent chance the current will collapse within 200 years.

So I'll say it again. Where the hell are the environmental groups? Probably with all the other liberal advocacy groups. Off fund-raising.
5 Phat Beats| Drop a Beat

[31 Jan 2006|08:59pm]
I am absolutely stuck in basic complex variables homework. Please help?Collapse )
2 Phat Beats| Drop a Beat

Canadians Must Flaunt Their Superior Mathemagical Skills [24 Dec 2005|07:22pm]
[ mood | surprised ]

Pi 2 Infinity: So, I went to Office Depot today and I bought some more of those four-colored pens that I'm always toting, you know? At the bottom of the receipt is a survey to fill out online with a chance to win some prize money. Normally, I don't buy into these things but when I was at my friend's house when he got his $500 Best Buy gift card, I decided to fill them out from time to time. So, I'm filling them out and I'm curious about the rules. I read them and get to section 4:

DRAWING AND PRIZE REDEMPTION: Prize winners will be selected in a random drawing from the aggregate of all qualified entries received. DRAWING WILL BE HELD ON OR ABOUT JANUARY 15, 2006. The drawing and the awarding of prizes will be conducted by BizRate.com, as independent judges, whose decisions are final on all matters relating to the promotion. Winners will be notified by regular mail and/or e-mail. Grand Prize winner will be required to complete and return an Affidavit of Eligibility and Liability/Publicity Release within 14 days of the date of notification, or prize will be forfeited and awarded to an alternate Grand Prize winner. Any prize notification letter or prize returned as undeliverable will be forfeited and awarded to an alternate winner. If a Canadian resident wins a prize, that person must also answer correctly within a 5 minute time period a mathematical skill-testing question without the benefit of any human, mechanical or electronic calculating devices before the prize will be awarded.

Seriously, WTF is up with that last sentence?!

5 Phat Beats| Drop a Beat

Air in a tunnel [03 Nov 2005|03:59pm]
A classmate of mine and I got into an "elevated voice" discussion over the following idea:

Let's say that we were able to drill a hole through the center of the Earth and out the other side. The atmosphere is allowed to flow freely through this tunnel. Making all the prettifying assumptions (such as the Earth is homogenous, the temperature at the core doesn't affect the air in the tunnel, the tunnel is of sufficiently small size to not significantly affect the value of sea level pressure, etc.), would the air pressure in the center of this tunnel be higher, lower, or the same as sea level pressure?

My friend believes that it would be a significantly larger maximum at the center, as the air column would compress the air all the way down there.

I assert that the air would follow the gravitational potential, having a maximum at the surface and a near-zero pressure minimum at the center.

Any insight?

I Ganked This... [28 Oct 2005|03:57pm]
[ mood | Democratic ]

You are a

Social Liberal
(80% permissive)

and an...

Economic Moderate
(43% permissive)

You are best described as a:


Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

I've always considered myself a good mix of Martin Luther King, Jr. and Bono.
1 Phat Beat| Drop a Beat

[22 Oct 2005|04:22pm]
[ mood | irritated ]

What the Hell is Wrong with Florida? Part 7.

I live in Daytona Beach and every October the city which I entrust with my life to maintain order goes and hosts an event called Biketober Fest-- Yeah, it's as redneck as it sounds. The city becomes inundated by motorcyclists of all types, more than doubling the city's population in a couple nights. Most of these bikers are just coming around to have a good time, but a good number are the aggressive, "look at how riced up I can get my shit" types, recklessly careening down my streets, speeding past on the right, violating noise ordinances, and riding crotch rockets which mass about 200 kg. My car easily masses five times that amount, and we all know enough physics to realize that, ultimately, most gross tonnage has the right of way. If I get into an accident with you, my Kia will beat up your Katana.

Now, my gripe: Florida frequently sets up "Click it or Ticket" traps; if you are not buckled up, you get a ticket! Why would they do that? So why the fuck did that same Florida repeal the helmet law? Yeah, riders can ride around without helmets as long as they have sufficient insurance.

... ... ... WTF?

In short, these are dumbasses (except the dude on the left in the orange-- he's got it right):

I don't know how my state have such an incredible double-standard. Do they not have any consideration to the car owners who will ultimately be the ones who have to wash the blood off their cars' rear windshield? Forcing a biker to wear a helmet at least makes the biker deal with the biker's blood. So now, not only am I worried that I'll be doing 35 MPH down Nova one of these nights on my way home from the lab and, while getting ready to move over to the rightmost lane, intercepting some fucko doing 75 MPH on his two-wheeler, I can add being charged with vehicular manslaughter to my list of worries because that dumbass won't be wearing a helmet.

I think I hate people.

3 Phat Beats| Drop a Beat

Avoiding the obviously long entry with a shorter one... [23 Jul 2005|01:59am]
[ mood | dorky ]

I finally got around to reading Feynman's Six Easy Pieces, and the last chapter got me thinking. I understand that in the double-slit experiment, there will be an interference pattern as long as it isn't "discovered" which slit the electron's particle properties went through. What would happen if an apparatus were set up to determine which slit the electron went through but the results weren't displayed? Say, the apparatus is hooked up to a computer whose monitor is off/broken/in another room? Would an interference pattern still develop?

If so, what would happen if the monitor were visible to Grad Student B in the other room, but invisible to the observer of the interference pattern, Grad Student A? Would B's ability to witness be enough to collapse the wave-function, even though A doesn't know the results and B can't see the experiment? What if B walked in and out of the monitor room? Would A watch as an interference pattern appeared and collapsed with B's placement?

I guess what I'm trying to get at is, is it understood to be the apparatus itself or the observation and gain of knowledge which destroys interference patterns?

1 Phat Beat| Drop a Beat

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